Letting Go Of The Strong Black Woman Label, I’m In My Soft Girl Era.

 

Letting Go Of The Strong Black Woman Label, I’m In My Soft Girl Era.

DISCLAIMER: Ladies, everything you do is feminine.

*patriarchy has left the chatroom*

It really is frustrating, and I know you get it. Independent, strong black woman, It has such a tarnish on our souls, it needs to be eliminated. As resilient as we are, you should never get it twisted. The whole Strong Black Woman label is always taken out of context and I’m over it, you're over it, we over it.

“The woman who can take all kinds of bullshit and not break”.

It’s as if the black woman is bionic or super human, empty. It’s disturbing.

It's like us asking why can't we cry too, why can't we hurt for a bit too.

It’s dark history and psychological impacts are something I refuse to carry on my back and for future generations. Out doing or out reaching ourselves, survival mode with no time off, grinding all day everyday, multiple jobs and no time for vulnerability. That’s a ton of distress.

Most of the time it was the black women who wore the caps on their heads, or “cape”. Being in a place where getting your feelings out wasn't so normalised and showed weakness, how can you be vulnerable ?

For a very long time, these behaviours have carved into their identity and passed down to the present generations. Though it is important to know history, it’s crucial to never forget these things.

I hope this gives you an idea of the circulation around why it may be difficult as a black woman to find comfort and adapt vulnerability. We don’t need to solve everyone's problems and leave our own to the last or never. No more! 

Letting go, daily affirmations for Black Women👱🏽‍♀️

Now repeat, 🗣

I want a delicate life, a soft life.

Rooting deeper into femininity is the path I want to follow. 

What do you mean by femininity?

Femininity, the feeling that comes within. Not helpful I know. Let me break it down. The feeling which I want to describe is, the warmth and joy we feel from our hearts, the confidence we radiate, the things that bring a sparkle to our eyes. 

Feeling more feminine is being light and happy in your spirit and your path. This is what makes a woman so attractive.

What does that look like?👁

Well it goes from the smallest things such as being in nature. As every woman is different, this could simply mean wearing your favourite or prettiest jewellery in the house, gorgeous gorgeous lounge wear, wearing your favourite perfume around the house 🤷🏽‍♀️ doesn'tsnt always have to be about the gorgeous colour pink, it can be about neutral beige

✨“Diving deeper and allowing all the soft manifestations I desire, we make me attractive all around”.✨

Taking a closer look at what it means to be feminine.👭

Being feminine is usually described or seen as a lifestyle that is doll-ified and fantasised. I don't want you to believe that having a softer life means buying all those scented candles, fake vines and fairy lights then calling it a day by pretending you're fine.

Things like cooking, personally this makes me feel very feminine and nurturing knowing that I can feed myself and family. Going out to buy healthy ingredients to nurture my body is so relaxing.

Being able to slow down and feel fine about it. This makes me feel a lot more feminine as I tend to find more enjoyment in every moment. Women need piece and quiet, that time to heal and do the shadow work they need.

Doing everything with grace with a touch, is really the way to the heart.

Finding a new hobby, skill or craft. Think of long term goals and usability of that skill, would it bring you a more feminine lifestyle?

Does it bring a sense of calmness and wholeness? 

Speaking more politely to yourself, being aware of the words you speak and how to describe yourself. How you speak to yourself speaks volumes. Replacing negative talk with kinder words, acknowledging and keeping an eye on your feelings and emotions.

Daily gratitude is just as important, there's nothing more pure than confronting gratitude when you first wake. It's a perfect way to start the way, set your mood onto positive grounds and remain humble.

Create elegant routines for yourself, whether that being the morning or afternoon. Taking the time to properly wake up and get yourself together is where it starts.

Final thoughts💆🏽

Black women can be soft too and they deserve it. I believe it's important to live your life the comfortable way possible, whatever it is that brings you softness and makes your “femininity feeling” shine.

What habits have you picked up that make you feel more feminine? I would love to read your comment.