Let’s get into it: Impulsivity and codependency and how it dismantles our daily lives & maintenance.

Codependent relationships tend to be one-sided, casting one person in the role of constant caregiver. Usually this stems around those that are close to you such as family as it is easy to develop unhealthy boundaries for yourself with their presence. 

In the time being, I don't want you to feel as though you can't heal or it won't go away or as though you were a loser. There's no failures here baby, just lessons and growth. At some point you have to do the healing to get past but that's nothing unless you have that awareness. 

Codependents have problems receiving the good stuff that relationships can potentially offer such as having trouble accepting love.

You may not be a caretaker, however there are those who may find it hard to listen to others without trying to help or rescue them. When you start to feel a little guilty or responsible, just know that that’s codependency paying you a visit.

So what does a codependent relationship of any sort look like? 

Typically, in unhealthy codependent relationships, the “giver” tends to be overly responsible, making excuses for the “taker”.

Givers are often hard on themselves, being self-critical and often a perfectionist, fixing or rescuing others makes one who is codependent feel needed.

Communication is another area where dependents have a dilemma. They can’t say “No” without feeling guilty, and are resentful when they say “Yes” to things that don't actually want to be done

With a fragile self esteem finding relationships, codependents are afraid of rejection and abandonment, but on the flip side, they fear losing themselves when they get attached in a relationship.

Trying to be liked by a person, pleasing them to make them happy even though it has you feeling empty or resentful.

Letting go of codependency

Who said healing was easy? The same way life is, nothing comes easy but we have to keep going, never surrender, you can do anything. We need to understand what and who we are dealing with. In this case of healing we will be dealing with our inner child, going back and unlearning. 

If I access my inner child will I spiral ?

Will I be able to cope with her?

Will I be consumed with overly negative thoughts?

I get it, it is easy to avoid her for those feelings of being comfortable. Comfortable isn't forever though, especially when you don't have your feelings and emotions on lock.

At first, inner child work often feels like just your anxious self trying to reassure your anxious self so that doesn't really work.

Understanding that this is a process that needs to be unlearned should be the only powerhouse in your mind for successful healing. Your inner child is the part of you that is afraid of being overwhelmed, perhaps because she’s never been given the chance of experiencing such emotions safely?

Releasing strategies ✨👀👱🏽‍♀️

1. Being able to emotionally regulate and to reassure myself in times of distress rather than desperately seeking out others for comfort and validation, and feeling like I'm going to implode if I don't.

2. Discover and learn that there is hope. * Who inspires you? *What does your ideal “you” appear like?

3. Take care of yourself, the whole reason there is codependency is because you don't set time for yourself, put yourself first and instead tangle in other people's problems.

4. Let go!; of control and enabling 

5. Accept powerlessness 

6. Detach instead of react *protect your peace

7. Let go of toxic relationships/friendships, protecting your peace is so much more worth it 

8. Seek outside activities *What did your inner child love to do? *What have you always been interested in or had in the back of your mind?

9. Meditation and naming emotions so I am taking steps in the right direction. Connecting with your feelings

10. By examining your beliefs about negative emotions. Do you think they’re true?

11. Identifying & awareness around destructive patterns *challenge them

12. Healing your inner child, you will need to accept her as she is, make sure she gets her needs met; and protect her (set and maintain boundaries). This is what good parents do. And it needs to be more than just affirmations or self-talk: you need to take action. If you cannot set boundaries or say no or voice your needs, then you are not yet a safe guardian for your inner child

13. Make new friends

Final thoughts

The warnings above prove a high number of these signs may indicate codependent tendencies. One thing you should take with you on your healing journey is that ultimately, everyone is responsible for their own actions and feelings. We can't afford to have dismantled lifestyles or in our daily maintenance. 

Cater to you boo x✨